Brothers and Babies
by nekluvshp
Summary: Naruto is pregnant with Sasuke's child, but Sasuke has his own family. What's our blonde to do? Maybe his unknown half-brother can help. Angst, Bi, M/M, MPreg.
1. Prologue

I know have I have two other Naruto stories I should be working on, but this popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. I'll try to finish it quickly so that I can get working on the others.

AU, OCC, Yaoi, Mpreg, just a few possibly relevant warnings. (All warnings in summary may not be used.)

Please read, review, and enjoy! ^_^

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><p>Naruto sighed as he pulled his shirt down and stared at the image frozen on the screen. It didn't look like much yet, but he knew what it would become. <em>Why me?<em>

Tsunade came back a moment later with a bottle of pills and a book in hand.

"Why me, baa-chan?" Naruto voiced his internal question. "Why does everything happen to me?"

The woman handed Naruto the book and he gaped at the title, _Troubles and Trials of Male Pregnancy._

"It's not just you, Naruto. You inherited a mutation from your father." She tried to explain. "Minato came to me approximately thirty-two years ago in the same situation. He had no idea it could happen and I had never heard of it, so I started doing research."

"You mean there are others that have this?" Naruto asked with a tilt of his head.

"I discovered maybe a dozen families around the world that have developed the gene in the past two generations and every male since it appeared also carry it." She replied. "I followed your dad's case meticulously and kept a record of everything. Eventually, everything I learned, I put in that book."

"So… I really am… pregnant." Naruto stated more to himself. "Wait! Does that mean my mom wasn't my mom?"

Tsunade smiled a little. "Don't worry; Kushina and Minato were your parents. Besides, you're only twenty-six."

"Oh… right." With a gasp, Naruto added, "That means I have a sibling! Do you know who it is? Who the other father is?"

"I do, but it's not my place to tell you." The blonde doctor said with a frown.

An uncharacteristic scowl marred Naruto's face. "Then how am I supposed to find out? My parents are dead!"

"There is someone you can talk to about it." She said with a sigh. "Fugaku Uchiha."

~!~

"_Sasuke, I know you're busy, but can you come over sometime today? I have something very important I have to tell you. It's…"_ There was a small sob. _"I guess it's bad and you really need to know. Please…"_

The voicemail cut off there and Sasuke stared at his phone in near shock. Naruto made it sound like he was dying, or worse.

After a moment, he shook himself out of it and abruptly stood from his desk. He slid his cell back into his pocket and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair as he rushed toward the door of his office.

"I'm taking the afternoon off." He quickly told his secretary as he hurried passed her. "If my dad asks, tell him it was an emergency." The raven-haired man was around the corner before she had a chance to reply.

Being lunch hour, it took ten minutes longer than the normal fifteen for Sasuke to reach Naruto's apartment from work. His car screeched to a halt in the parking lot and he ran up the three flights of stairs instead of waiting for the elevator.

When he reached the blonde's door, he let himself in with the key he was given years ago instead of knocking and waiting for Naruto to answer.

"Naruto?" He called softly once the door clicked shut behind him. "Are you here?"

"Sasuke?" There was a hiccup before, "I'm in the bathroom."

The Uchiha followed a familiar path through Naruto's bedroom to the adjoined bathroom. He pushed open the partially closed door to see the other man bent over the toilet.

"Are you ok, Naruto?" Sasuke asked as he knelt next to him.

With a wide, fake grin Naruto replied, "I'm great! Just throwing up my breakfast, again."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "On the phone you made it sound like you're dying, Dobe. If you wanted sympathy because you have the flu, I'm leaving." He made to stand up but the sudden lost look on Naruto's face stopped him.

"It's not the flu, Sasuke." He said dejectedly, tears building in his eyes. "It's… I-I'm…" He couldn't continue as he began sobbing hysterically.

The slightly older man collected Naruto into his arms and allowed him the time to cry. "Naruto, you're not… you aren't dying, are you?" He asked, fear building in his chest as he waited for an answer. It was several minutes before Naruto was calm enough to answer the raven's question.

He pushed himself off of Sasuke and mirrored his kneeling position. "I'm not dying." He softly reassured his best friend. "I'm… I'm pregnant."

Sasuke blinked once. Then twice. "What?"

Naruto wiped his eyes and repeated, "I'm pregnant."

"You're… pregnant?" Naruto nodded.

Sasuke stood up and continued to stare down at the blonde man. Then he turned and silently walked away.

"Sasuke… Sasuke, where are you going?" He asked, watching in confusion as the other slowly left him.

"Home or back to work." Came the clipped reply.

"Why? I just told you—"

The Uchiha turned back around and looked at Naruto with angry, black eyes. "Why? I took the afternoon off because I thought you were _dying,_ or sick at the very least, and you pull this shit on me! I can appreciate a good joke as much as the next guy but this was going too far."

Naruto hauled himself up from the floor and took a step toward the enraged man only for Sasuke to take a step away from him. "This isn't a joke. We had _unprotected_ sex, Sasuke, and this is the result."

"Damn it, Naruto, of course we had unprotected sex. We're both clean and pregnancy isn't a possible outcome of gay sex." Sasuke said a little more calmly than before.

Weakly, Naruto argued, "I have proof." He was startled when Sasuke suddenly punched the wall next to the bathroom door, leaving a large dent.

"You have proof." Sasuke sounded skeptical. "Fuck, Naruto, I know you've been in love with me since we were twelve but to make up something like this is low, even for you!" He nearly screamed. "I'm married, I have kids now. I know you've never liked her and your harmless little pranks when we were younger were fine. But to pull something like _this_ to try and ruin my marriage now! It's just too much." He moved toward the bedroom door. "Good-bye, Naruto."

"Wait… Sasuke." Naruto ran after him and grabbed a hold of the back of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks. "Please don't leave, Sasuke." He sobbed into his back.

When Sasuke spoke next, his voice was hard and unforgiving. "You went too far this time. Don't call and don't come over anymore, you won't be treated kindly if you do." Sasuke stepped forward, out of Naruto's loosened grip, and headed toward the door.

The blonde stood there staring at nothing until he heard the click of the door opening. Then there was the sound of something metallic hitting the wood floor, the key he'd given Sasuke, followed the door slamming shut.

Naruto crumpled to the floor, fresh tears flowing down his face. "Sasuke…"

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><p>I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review!<p> 


	2. Chapter 1

And lookie here! Chapter 1, or 2 depending on how you look at it. Now, it's a little bit shorter than the prologue and for that I'm sorry. The next chapter is quite a bit longer though which is why I decided to split it up.

No real warnings for this chapter, except maybe chibiness!^^

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><p><strong>Six Months Later<strong>

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Two small voices chanted.

Sasuke sighed and pushed himself away from the paperwork strewn across his desk. He'd have to finish it tomorrow since his sons were sure to provide a pleasant distraction for the rest of the day.

The door to his study burst open a few moments later and two small, black-haired boys practically flew into the room. They ran over to their father and immediately climbed onto his lap.

"Hi, daddy!" The three year old and younger brother, Aki, shouted breathlessly before giving Sasuke a wet kiss on the cheek.

"Did you have fun at the park?" Sasuke asked with a smile. They nodded in unison.

"You will never guess what we saw!" Five year old Ichiro spoke up excitedly.

Sasuke's smiled widened in amusement. "What did you see?"

Aki stood up on the leg he was occupying to be at eye level with his dad. "We sawed a pregnant boy!" He squealed.

A dark brow quirked up. "You mean you _saw_ a man who looked like he was pregnant because he was fat." The man half asked, half stated.

"No, daddy." Ichiro scoffed. "He had a baby in his tummy and looked like mommy did before Aki got here."

"Yeah!" The younger boy agreed. "He was sittin' by da san'box alone an' we wanted to play wif him to make him happy an' he was really nice an' an' an' an' let us touch his tummy an' da baby moved, daddy! We feeled it!" Aki prattled excitedly.

The only reason Sasuke was able to understand his youngest son's ramblings was because he had practice. He ignored the numerous errors of the boy's speech, this time, and said, "Are you sure it wasn't a girl that looked like a boy?"

Aki sighed in frustration. "Tell him, 'chiro!"

The five year old kept steady eye contact with Sasuke as he said seriously, "_He_ was a boy with a baby in his tummy."

There was a giggle from the doorway and all three ravens looked at the pink-haired woman standing there.

"Hi, mommy!" Aki said with a wave. "We're telling daddy about the pregnant boy!"

"Did you see this pregnant man, Sakura?" Sasuke asked without actually looking at his wife, something that didn't go unnoticed by her.

"No. I think our boys just have overactive imaginations." She replied, brushing off her husband's inattentiveness for now.

Both boys looked indignant. "But we sawed him." Aki insisted.

"You _saw_ him." Sasuke instantly corrected.

Aki beamed up at him, thinking he believed them now. "Uh huh."

Sasuke sighed but gave up the fight. If they wanted to believe they saw a pregnant man, who was he to ruin their fun.

"Alright, why don't you two start getting ready for dinner at grandma and grandpa's house later?" Sasuke suggested as he set them on the floor.

"'k" They chorused and then chased each other into the hall and out of sight.

~!~

Swallowing heavily, Naruto rang the bell of the mansion and waited. It was only a few seconds before a man in a uniform answered the door. "Mr. Uzumaki, I'm sorry but Sasuke isn't here at the moment."

"Actually, I'm here to see Mr. Uchiha." Naruto said softly and fidgeted with his sleeves.

"Do you have an appointment?" The butler asked.

Naruto shook his head. "N-no… but its really important. Please."

The door was opened wider. "Have a seat in the living room and I'll see if he's free." The man said with a smile.

"Thanks." The blonde replied with his own small smile. He walked into the large house and made his way to the familiar room where he sat himself down on a plush couch. Naruto sat in silence for about a minute as he waited.

When the man came back, he beckoned for Naruto to follow him down the hallway. They passed a few doors that lead to rooms he was familiar with but the one they stopped at, he'd never been in.

"Come in." Said a gruff voice after the butler knocked on the door. He opened it for Naruto and then closed it behind him once he was inside. It was a few minutes before the eldest Uchiha looked up from his desk to regard Naruto.

The young blonde was wearing a bulky sweatshirt as well as a jacket… in the middle of summer. He was starting to sweat just looking at him. However, he ignored the younger man's state of dress.

"Please, have a seat." He offered and gestured to a chair opposite him.

"Thank you, sir." Naruto quietly said as he sank into the seat.

Fugaku Uchiha leaned back in his chair a little and crossed his legs at the knee. "So, Naruto, what do you need to speak to me about?"

"Well, it's about… my dad." He nervously said without looking up. When the other man didn't reply right away, Naruto chanced a glance at him.

To anyone else, it would have looked like Fugaku hadn't reacted at all. But having spent his entire life around them, Naruto could easily read Uchiha's and this one was surprised.

Finally he sighed and leaned forward again to rest his elbows on the desk between them. "What do you want to know?"

"Did you know my dad had a mutated gene?" Naruto asked immediately.

Fugaku nodded and replied, "I did."

Next Naruto asked, "And that that gene allowed him to get pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Do you know who my brother or sister is?"

Instead of replying, Fugaku picked up the phone on his desk and made a call. The speaker was loud and Naruto caught both sides of the conversation.

"_Hello?"_

"Are you home, Itachi?"

"_Just pulling in actually, why?"_

"I need you to come straight to my study.

"_Fine."_

"Right now, not when you feel like." He said with an exasperated rub of his forehead. They both hung up.

Naruto stared around the room he was in as they waited for Fugaku's oldest son to make an appearance. There was really nothing of interest to look at though, at least, nothing interesting to him.

"What is it, dad?" A new voice asked as the door open. "Oh hey, Naruto. I was wondering whose car that was in the driveway."

"Hey, Itachi." Naruto greeted with a smile and a small wave.

"What?" Itachi asked again when he looked at his father.

Fugaku pointed to the other chair. "Sit, Itachi. This concerns both of you." To say this information confused Naruto would be an understatement. "If your father were here, he'd kill me for not telling you sooner." The man said more to himself than either of the other two.

Itachi and Naruto exchanged looks. "How is Itachi involved in this?"

"Naruto… Itachi is your brother."

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><p>About the boys names, Aki: I can't remember what it means but I picked it just because I think it sounds cute! Ichiro: means first son. Along with liking the name, I also feel that it is very Uchiha-like to name him that.<p>

Now for a little announcement, I now have a Facebook page for my fans to friend me so I can give you all updates and whatnot. You can either use the link on my profile or you can go to Facebook and type in nekluvshp. You'll then have to click see results and I'll be the first one!


	3. Chapter 2

Here is chapter 2! I hope you enjoy it as much as the first 2 chaps. The next few chapters will contain flashbacks. Regular text is the present time and italic is the past. It should be obvious but just in case, italic words or sentences within the normal text are for emphasis or thought. It should be easy to tell which is which. And vice versa.

Please read, review and enjoy!

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><p>"Excuse me?" Itachi spoke up first. "Just how are we brothers?"<p>

For the nth time that day, Fugaku sighed. "Half-brother is more accurate. And first I need to apologize to you, Itachi, for not telling you this twenty-six years ago. So, I apologize."

"What exactly are you apologizing for? For Naruto to be my half-brother either you or mom would have had to have had an affair and she would never do that. So is that what you're sorry for, cheating?" Itachi was calm through out his little tirade but anyone who knew him well enough could see that he was angry.

"Neither of us have ever had an affair. Mikoto isn't your real mother, Itachi. She's your step-mother." The elder Uchiha explained.

"She's my… So then Naruto and I have the same mother?" Itachi asked skeptically, feeling as if there was still something he was missing.

Fugaku ran both of his hands down his face in frustration. He never thought he'd have to explain something like this and it was much more difficult than he ever could have imagined. "Sort of." Was his vague reply.

Itachi was getting irritated. "We can't 'sort of' have the same mother. Either we do or we don't, which is it?"

"Itachi." Naruto started softly, gaining the younger raven's attention. "My dad is basically… your mom."

Itachi's reaction was the same as Sasuke's. He blinked twice followed by, "What?"

"Naruto's father, Minato, had a genetic mutation that made him able to conceive and carry a child. In essence, I'm your father and he was your mother." Fugaku explained slowly.

It was becoming clear that Itachi was just as disbelieving as Sasuke had been all those months ago. Hopefully he wouldn't be as loud about it.

"You expect me to believe… that my _mother_ is a man? Are you fucking insane?" He seethed.

"Sometimes, I think so." The older man mumbled. He then dropped his head back against his chair and pressed his palms to his eyes. "I think I need a drink." With that, he opened a bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a bottle of, what was most likely, whiskey. A glass quickly followed.

Before he had a chance to pour it though, Itachi leaned forward and grabbed the bottle. "Are you going to explain yourself?" He barked.

Fugaku heaved another sigh. "Itachi—"

"I can prove it." Naruto loudly interrupted. Unlike Sasuke, Itachi sat back and motioned for the blonde to continue.

Shaking and sweaty profusely, Naruto stood from his chair and proceeded to slide the over-sized jacket off his shoulders and drop it into his vacated seat. Then he gripped the bottom of the large sweatshirt and pulled it over his head.

At this point, Naruto's 'proof' was tremendously obvious, if his rounded belly had anything to say about it.

Neither Uchiha was able to hide their shock at what the blonde man just unveiled; Itachi because this was all so new to him and Fugaku because he was expecting Naruto to show them a book or a _maybe _sonogram.

"Shit, Naruto. You're… you really… fucking hell." Itachi groaned when the ability to speak returned to him. Realizing the whiskey bottle was still in his hand, the man unscrewed the cap and knocked back a good two shots worth. "So Naruto's father… gave birth to me. How? When did this even happen and why don't I remember it?"

The elder Uchiha picked up the bottle that Itachi had placed on the desk and filled his glass nearly to the brim. He took a swig before answering with, "Why don't I just start from the beginning and then you two can ask any questions you might still have?"

"That sounds good to me." Naruto replied while Itachi nodded his assent.

"Well, I suppose the beginning would be when Minato and I met our freshman year of high school. There had been some big budget cuts and funding issues that caused several public schools to shut down. They had to move a lot of kids around and instead of being shipped off to an overcrowded public school, Minato choose to go to Konoha Academy." He paused to take a sip.

"But how did—"

"I'm getting there Naruto." The man interrupted before the blonde could finish his question. "Kids with excellent grades at the surrounding schools that are going into high school are given a test from The Academy. The higher your score, the better scholarship you get. Ninety-five percent and up gets you a full scholarship. Minato got a ninety-eight, the second highest score on record." Here, Itachi smirked. He knew the next part of the story.

Fugaku drained his glass and set it aside for now. "I currently hold the record with a ninety-nine. But that's irrelevant to the story." He said with a dismissive wave. "Anyway, later I learned that Minato had originally declined their offer, wanting to stay with his friends. When it came to the point where he wasn't going to be with them anyhow, he accepted."

"Now, me and Minato's story doesn't technically start for another year because honestly, I could not stand to be in his presence for more than a few seconds when I first met him. He was loud, obnoxious, bordering on rude… I used the word barbarian to describe him quite often back then."

"And then something happened. To this day I still don't know what it was but he started school a week late the next year. He was a lot quieter and didn't actually talk to anyone for a while, not even his friends."

_My face made contact with the floor. I sat up and looked back to see what I tripped over. Sitting there against the wall was that blonde idiot. "Watch what the fuck you're doing, Namikaze." I spat. _

_The other boy barely even acknowledged my existence. This just made me angrier, you don't ignore an Uchiha!_

"_Hey, I'm talking to you!" I half shouted in the deserted hallway as I got to my feet and looked down my nose at him. He actually looked at me this time but his face was completely blank. Then he shrugged and went back to staring at his outstretched feet. _

_I knelt next to him to be at eye-level, even though he wasn't looking at me. "Tch, what are you, bi-polar or something? Last year you were bouncing off the walls like a five year old on a sugar high and this year, I don't think I've seen you say two words to anybody."_

_It was rather disconcerting when he didn't react to my jibe, at all. I'd seen him punch people for much lesser cracks. Then again, I didn't recall him fighting anyone so far that year either. _

"_Geez, with the way you're acting, you'd think someone died." I mumbled off-handedly. _

_For a moment, I didn't know what hit me. I couldn't breathe and pain was flaring up all over my torso. Finally I realized Namikaze had tackled me and was slamming his fists into my chest and stomach over and over again. When he started aiming higher, I brought my arms up to protect my face and neck. _

_The blows seemed to last forever. When they finally stopped, I realized it was because someone had pulled him off of me. Not only that, but there were students and teachers all around us looking down at me in concern. _

_I wasn't sure what everyone was so worried about, until I tried to move. All I did was try and put my arms down but I couldn't get them any further than my chest without tears stinging my eyes. I noticed the blood gushing from my nose at the same time I realized how painful it was to breathe. _

_Now that my vision wasn't being blocked by my, most likely broken, arms, I tilted my head to look at my attacker. Throughout the entire ordeal, I hadn't really felt much fear. But the way he was looking at me, eyes wide and panting for breath, you'd think he was the one who had been attacked. _

_Sudden pain laced through me and I realized someone was trying to get me to sit up. I hissed before barking, "Let go! If I wanted to, or even could, get up, I'd fucking do it myself." Everyone backed off right away. _

_It wasn't long before the paramedics showed up. They strapped me to one of those backboard things and put a brace around my neck to make sure I wouldn't move. _

_As they lifted me onto the stretcher, I saw Namikaze being cuffed and lead away by the police. His head was bowed and he just looked so ashamed and pathetic that _I_ couldn't help feeling sorry for_ him.

_The very next evening, I was lying in a hospital bed, partially out of it from the pain killers they gave me, when a familiar blonde entered my room and stood in the doorway. I watched him stare at me, his eyes roving over all of my visible injuries. _

"_Either come in and sit down or leave." I said to the other boy who seemed to be contemplating whether or not he should actually be there. _

_Namikaze jumped a little at my rough command before scampering into the room and sitting in one of the available chairs. _

_We sat in silence for a while until I couldn't take his nervous fidgeting anymore. "Did you come here for something?" The blonde jumped again and stared at me for a minute. "Well? Say something!"_

_With a strained smile he said, "You uh… you look like hell." It seemed like he was attempting to be funny to try and lighten the tension in the room. _

_I looked down at my bandaged body before raising a brow and saying, "Ya think?" His smile dropped. "Let's see… broken left wrist, broken right forearm, broken nose, _nine_ cracked, broken, or fractured ribs, one nearly punctured a lung, _and _a ruptured spleen. I think I have a plenty good reason for looking like hell."_

"_Look… I'm sorry, Uchiha. I—"_

"_I know. And I forgave you yesterday when I saw how pathetic you looked being taken away by the cops." I explained nonchalantly. _

_Namikaze's impossibly blue eyes widened and he sputtered, "You… you forgave me? What are you, nuts? I beat the shit out of yesterday, maybe even almost killed you! If I were you I'd be milking it for everything its worth and then some! I'd have myself groveling at my feet, begging for forgiveness!"_

_I couldn't keep the smirk off my face. "What would be the point of that, other than to humiliate you? I can already get anything else I could possibly want with a snap of my fingers."_

_The blonde sighed. "Can I at least explain myself then?" He asked, his tone one of defeat. I motioned for him to continue. "I… I've kinda been in a bad place the past couple of weeks and haven't really been myself." _

_I snorted. _

"_What?" He asked. I shook my head. "What?" This time it was a demand. _

_I rolled my eyes. "Tell me something I don't know."_

_Without missing a beat he replied, "I've had butt sex." My reaction was to stare at him and blink several times. "What? That's something you don't know."_

_I couldn't help it after that, I started laughing and not just a smooth chuckle like usual. It hurt my chest so fucking bad but it didn't stop me for several long moments. When I finally stopped, he was staring at me like I'd grown an extra head. _

"_I don't think I have ever heard you laugh before. You should do it more often." He said with a wide grin. _

"_And you should do it less." I replied with a small smile of mine own. His grin widened for a moment before fading and he turned completely serious. _

"_I really am sorry. I don't know what happened. You said… what you said and I just snapped. The next thing I knew, someone was holding onto me and I was panting but I had no idea why. The back of my hands were throbbing and I saw they were bleeding and a little swollen. Then I looked up and saw you lying on the floor like that…" His voice wavered near the end and I realized there were a few tears running down his cheeks. _

_I had to roll my eyes again but at least I managed not to scoff at him. "I already said I forgive you, Namikaze. There's no reason to cry."_

_He wiped his face with his sleeve and grinned again. "First of all, call me Minato. Second, of course there's a reason for me to cry, with all your money, I'll be in prison by the end of next week."_

"_Fine, Minato. However, I'm not pressing charges against you, unless you _really_ want me to." I could tell he was about to interrupt me with something about needing to make it up to me, but I beat him to it. "And if you really feel that bad, you can carry my books and other shit at school when I get back."_

"_Alright, Fugaku." He replied. _

"_Did I say you can call me that?" I asked, completely serious and angry over the fact that he used my first name without permission. The idiot just continued to grin at me._

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><p>So, what did you think? Click the review button to let me know! ^^<p>

Don't forget to add me on Facebook if you haven't done so already!


	4. Chapter 3

First things first, you can find an apology at the bottom.

Second, this story has exactly 2,345 words.

Third, I'm REALLY sorry, to be continued…

Anyway, please enjoy chapter three!

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><p>Fugaku was silent for a while as memories flitted about his mind. He shook his head to clear it before taking a sip from his glass, which he had refilled at some point during his narrative.<p>

"I didn't know at that moment that Minato would become the best friend I ever had, let alone the love of my life." He stated. "And… this may sound callous, but honestly, if he were alive today and showed a single hint of wanting to be together, I'd leave Mikoto in a heartbeat."

Itachi didn't take that well. "You can't possibly be serious?" He seethed. "Don't you care about her at all?"

The glare Fugaku sent his eldest son caused both younger men to recoil in fear. "Of course I do. I love her very much, but it's more a love for a friend than a wife. Besides, she knew from the start that we might not have lasted long."

"And she was ok with that?" Naruto asked, his head tilted to the side in curiosity.

"Surprisingly, yes." The oldest of the three replied with a faint smile. "She was almost relieved when I first told her the situation. It turned out she wasn't looking for a husband as much a sperm donor."

Naruto was a little confused now. "So… how did you go from being the love of each other's life and having a kid to being married to different people?" He asked.

With a sigh, Fugaku picked up where he left off, "Once I had recovered, Minato carried my stuff for me, as we agreed, but after that, I couldn't get rid of him. As time passed, I realized I didn't _want _to get rid of him. It wasn't until the end of that year that we started having sex."

"_You're dru'k, Fu." Minato slurred as he wrapped an arm around my neck, the plastic cup in his hand precariously close to spilling on me. _

_I snorted. "'F I'm drunk… wha's that make you?" He didn't answer, just started giggling. _

_Loud cheering and laughter floated over to us over the pounding bass from the techno music. Minato glanced around me, nearly pulling us both to the floor, to see what was happening. _

"_Le's go see wha's up over dere." I didn't have much choice in the matter since his arm was still around my neck and he started dragging me. "'Sup guys." He said with a wave and finally let go of me. _

"_Three sheets to the wind already, Minato?" Came a familiar lazy drawl. _

_Minato sputtered and lost his grip on the, now empty, cup. "I 'm not shree theets… shee threets… 'm not drunk!" He insisted. _

"_Yeah, Min, tha's why you're speakin' clearly and coul' walk w'thout my help." A few others laughed, either in agreement or at my own slurred speech, I wasn't sure. _

"_Pfft, I cou'd do back flips o'er you people righ' now if I want'd to." My blonde friend said with a casual wave. _

"_Wanna bet?"_

_Minato smirked. "You're on, Nara. Wha' I gotta do and wha's it gunna cos'?"_

"_I won't make you do a back flip; we don't want you hurting anyone or yourself I suppose, at least not too badly." He turned to the boy sitting on his left. "What do you think, Chouza?"_

"_Make him do a handstand!" The chubbier boy replied enthusiastically. _

"_For five seconds." A boy with a duller shade of blonde hair up in a ponytail added. _

_Turning back to us, Shikaku said, "You heard 'em: a handstand for five seconds. Get to it."_

"_Fine! An' if I win, you i'iots gotta take a sho'a one-fifty-one."_

"_Alright and if you lose, you have to take two shots." Shikaku held up the appropriate number of fingers and taunted Minato. _

"_Deal!" The two boys shook hands before the blonde backed up until he had enough space. _

"_Wait." The boy with the spiky ponytail interrupted before Minato could start. "We still have to make our bets. Obviously, I don't think you can do it. Chouza, Inoichi?"_

"_Hell no!"_

"_No way, man."_

_Minato turned to me with puppy dog eyes. "Wha' 'bout you, Fu? You belie'e in my don' ya?"_

_I smirked. "Of course." A moment later I was being crushed in a hug._

_When the blonde idiot let go, he turned back to face the others. "See, now he's a _real _frien'." With that, Minato flipped himself forward onto his hands, his shirt sliding down and covering his face. _

_Five seconds later:_

"_Damn, he actually did it." _

_At the same moment, gravity had Minato tumbling to the floor. He landed sprawled on his back and was laughing his ass off. _

_When he could breathe again, he stumbled to his feet and made his way to the counter where several half empty bottles of various kinds of alcohol sat. He quickly located the bottle of rum he was looking for and grabbed a few shot glasses as well. _

"_Dri'k up!" Minato exclaimed as he slammed the bottle and the glasses onto the kitchen table, one cracking in the process. Then he opened the rum and sloppily poured the shots. _

"_Lucky Uchiha." Shikaku muttered as he brought his glass to his lips. _

_I scoffed. "You've been 'is frien' lo'ger than me. You shoul' know be'er'n ta bet agains' a Namikaze."_

_Nara grimaced as he downed his drink. "Whatever." He mumbled, setting the glass back down, along with the other two. _

"_An' who's nex'?" Minato shouted as he plopped down into a chair and took a swig straight from the bottle. "Fu, you wanna try somethin'?"_

_I shook my head, regretting the action immediately as everything began to spin. "Think I've had 'nough." I mumbled holding my head. _

"_Ligh'weigh'." I could tell it was supposed to be said under his breath but I heard him. He's not exactly the quietest person, he's worse drunk. _

_From there, the guys organized a betting and drinking game, a few other people wandering over and joining in. I refused to do any of the dares themselves but I did bet when I knew something was a sure thing. _

_I bet on three rounds out of eight, winning twice and losing once. Lucky for me, the losers only had to chug a single beer. _

_Minato, however, bet every single round and won all of them until it got back to his turn. I can't recall what he had to do, just that he failed miserably, having consumed what had to have been half his body weight in alcohol. _

_I think everyone was just as surprised as I was that he hadn't passed out or thrown up by that point. He was so trashed that it was unanimously decided that he wouldn't take his last losing drink. _

"_Be's a be', man." He slurred as he reached for the bottle he was supposed to finish off. _

"_Minato, you've ha' more than 'nough." I stated. Having only had one drink in well over an hour, I had sobered up quite a bit and my speech was only slightly slurred. "Any more an' you might en' up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning." _

"_Fine." The blonde whined. "Fu, carr… car'y me." He lifted his arms toward me like a toddler from his place sprawled out on the floor. That's where he'd been for the past fifteen minutes or so. He'd failed his second turn because he couldn't even stand up. _

_I rolled my eyes but bent down to help him up. "I won' carry you, but I'll help you upstairs." I said as I pulled his arm around my shoulders and put one of mine around his waist. "Come on, ya big baby."_

_The trek through the large lake house was a long one as I almost literally dragged my best friend the entire way. With how big it was, you'd think there would be more than one set of stairs in it. _

_It was difficult actually getting up the stairs since the owners of the house were passed out on top of each other halfway up them. _

_Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuga, a year ahead of us, had turned eighteen the week before and their parents gave their lake house to them as a birthday present. As any teenager would do, they threw a party to celebrate. _

_Once I'd finally maneuvered us around the snoring brunettes, I hurried up the rest of the stairs and down the hall to find a bedroom that didn't have people hooking up in it. _

_Most of the doors were locked and I regretted opening the ones that weren't. It hadn't really been a goal of mine to see half of my classmates going at it. _

_Finally, at the end of the hall, was a tiny bedroom that was unoccupied and I understood why. It was a guestroom meant for a little girl. That and the bed was only a twin size. Minato only needed a place to crash though, so I pulled him into the room and dropped him on the bed. _

"_Don' go, Fu." The blonde mumbled once I'd let go of him. I started slightly, having thought he passed out on the way up. "You're comfy."_

"_You need to go to sleep, Minato." I said quietly as I headed toward the door. There was squeaking and shuffling as he moved and when I turned around, he had made some space. _

_He patted the empty half. "Be my cuddle buddy." He pouted, speaking slowly now to keep the slur out of his voice. _

"_Fine." I sighed. Otherwise, I'd be lucky to find a couch to sleep on and would most likely end up on the floor in a corner. _

_After quietly shutting the door, I made my way back to the bed and kicked my shoes off. I laid down and got comfortable on my back, my arms under my head. Immediately, Minato had his left arm and leg draped over me with his head on my shoulder. _

_I could feel his heartbeat against mine and his chest moving with his breaths as my eyes drooped and my own breathing started to even out. Sleep had nearly taken me when I was startled back into full consciousness. _

"_You're the bes' frien' I ever had, Fu." Minato mumbled suddenly, his hot breath tickling my neck. _

"_Yeah, me too." I replied, hoping it would be enough for his hazy mind. _

_His face pressed against the bare skin of my neck and I could feel him smiling. "You can' be your own bes' frien', silly."_

"_Idiot." I murmured as I lightly slapped him in the back of the head. "You know what I mean."_

"_Yeah." He breathed and I had a hard time suppressing a shiver. _

_Silence fell over us again and just when I thought I was sure Minato had fallen asleep, he spoke again. "Has anyo'e ever tol' you how good you smell? Kinda cimmaniny… cinnanimy… ya know, the spice." He whispered as he moved closer, if that was even possible. _

_I swallowed heavily and used all of my will power not to look down at him. "Yeah, I know." I answered thickly. _

_Suddenly, something wet was sliding across my neck. "Awwww, you on'y tas'e li'e skin." He sounded so disappointed. "But Fugaku skin, so i's ok." He added happily before licking me again. _

"_What're you doing?" I finally managed to ask. He didn't answer, just pressed his nose against me and inhaled deeply. _

"_Smellin' you, tastin' you." The blonde said after a while. He shifted just slightly and I could feel an erection against my hip. _

"_Minato…" I groaned and tried to push him off of me. I knew where this could lead, would lead, if I didn't stop it. Taking advantage of my plastered best friend wasn't very high on my to-do list. _

_The next second, his lips were on mine and instead of pushing him away, I was suddenly pulling him closer._

"Kissing led to groping, groping led to striping, and striping naturally led fucking, but I don't think either of you want to hear about your parents having sex." Fugaku said with a nostalgic smile.

Naruto groaned in disgust at the imagery that produced but Itachi laughed.

"I have to ask," The younger raven said with a chuckle, "Could Minato walk in the morning?"

"No, he couldn't." The older man replied with his own chortle. "But that was because he had a hangover from hell. Now I, on the other hand, was sore for the next few days."

"Please stop talking about it now." Naruto begged as the other two laughed.

Fugaku waved a hand. "Alright, alright. Anyway, after that, the only thing that changed about our relationship was the fact that we started having sex… frequently. We dated for a while, but after a couple of weeks we both agreed that we weren't ready to be monogamous, especially when the Hyuga twins started asking if I wanted a threesome with them. I sure as hell wasn't going to turn them down and Minato wouldn't let me either."

"Seriously, please stop talking about my dad and sex." The blonde pleaded with his hands over his ears.

The oldest of the three continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "So we kept it casual. But by the end of our senior year, seeing Minato with other guys or girls was getting to me. I knew I had fallen in love with him and told him so, as well as the fact that I wanted us to be exclusive or not at all.

"He confessed his feelings too and agreed he was ready to be in a relationship. It was a little over a year later that we found out about his mutation." He explained.

Naruto's brows drew together in confusion. "Wait… how come it took so long for him to get pregnant?" He asked.

"Just because your dad was an idiot, doesn't mean he was stupid, Naruto." Fugaku replied. "Until we were actually together, we always used condoms, with each other and anyone else. After that… it didn't matter anymore."

Well, I hope you all enjoyed drunk, teenage Minato, Fugaku and all the others I threw in there!

Now, Pleeeeeeaaaaaase don't kill me. I know it's been forever, almost two months, since I've posted anything at all. I started a temporary job four days a week but now it's done. Unfortunately, the job seemed to have sucked all creativity out of me at the moment. I'm trying to get back into it but I'm failing so far. Even my non-stop train of new fanfictions seems to have dried up, not that I'm really complaining. I'd like to be able to finish some of the 60 stories I have before starting more. Anyway, you can find torture devices and lethal weapons in the gift shop on your left. I'm prepared for whatever punishment you think I deserve.


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